I think my insomnia in Zambia comes from a similar place. Events loop through my head over and over, particularly because I have Dezi with me. Thus causes me a particular type of obsessing over any dangers avoided during the day and an incessant run through of details of the next day or few days to avoid doing anything, well, stupid that would jeopardize our safety since there's so much on the line with a six year old in tow and a three year old and wonderful husband at home. So these middle-of-the-night musings on the day or recent days is helpful to at least let go of a snippet of details and some could-have-been-avoided-but-turned-out-okay situations.
Like driving home after dark from an African lodge on a road that was still under construction when you had every intention of being home before dark. A good plan, but not a great plan if you're not fully in charge of all parts. I have a hard-fast safety rule in many countries about not being on the road after dark - especially when traveling alone or with small children. It is a good rule and has served me well. I broke it once before in Ecuador after my bus got a flat tire and I ended up spending the night in a bunk room with Argentine miners (not minors, that would have been an experience also). I broke it a second time in India and had to spend the drive knocking the seat of the driver every time his sleepy head started dipping toward his chest (he was sleepy enough that in two hours he never realized I was doing this). This time the broken rule was simply due to not being firm enough with it, and while it ended up fine it did lead to my questioning my judgement and whether I flex the rule too often.
But I skipped to the end of the day. The beginning of the day started with a calm morning at Christie's house with the kids playing and Christie running into Lusaka for some work. After that we headed to Chaminuka with Dezi and Lilah. Chaminuka is a game preserve outside Lusaka (theoretically about 45 min away, but longer if you get lost on the way there or drive home after dark). We had a decision between this lodge, known for having cheetahs, and an elephant orphanage, known equally for having cute elephants and a fancy pool and restaurant. Since cheetahs were Dezi's favorite animal at time of trip planning, and the point of the trip wasn't per say fancy pools, we opted for Chaminuka. The fact that Dez woke up that morning and said,"i don't even feel like we're in Africa yet," sealed the deal. Absolutely the right decision for the impressive lodge and more African fare at lunch. (Dez got to try the nutritionally void bleached rice mound ubiquitous in Zambian cuisine, nshima, and declared it "better than the food at home," which was both pleasing, from a willingness to try local cuisine standpoint, and insulting, from the perspective of a person who prepares food for him at home).
It was not the right decision from the standpoint of cheetahs vs baby elephants. We arrived and had lunch on a lovely patio filled with Zambians there for a business lunch. After lunch, we were told that contrary to the information provided by phone, the children could not be let inside the cheetah pen. This was relieving to me in many ways, as it still sort of seemed like a bad idea." No problem," we replied, "We'll just have them look from outside the area and watch the cheetahs."
Not possible, was the reply, because even the sight of small children excited the cheetahs too much and they might scratch adults in their bounding excitement - it was too much. Christie tried to talk them into a cheetah experience for the kids, with me standing skeptically by thinking that if a Zambian animal handler is saying it's not a good idea (and we've already established there's a loose concern for safety - see zoo email), then it's probably not a good idea). Reasonably, Christie then suggested that we instead drive the kids to the area with the cheetahs and let them look through the windows at least. Also not possible, was the reply, as the area was restricted to lodge vehicles. What about walking to the area and looking from a ways away? Oh no, that one really wasn't possible (actually elicited a chuckle) because it was simply too far to walk.
You can see where this is going I assume. After agreeing to (because we honestly couldn't just drive home seeing nothing) a safari drive around the reserve, including seeing the cheetahs and fishing on a pond at the end, we loaded into the safari jeep, drove out the entrance gate, and stopped 200 meters down the road at the cheetah pen. We'd driven past it on the way in, and would drive past it again on the way out, waving goodnight to the cheetahs. And the cheetahs themselves were being fed when we saw then and were so focused on their hunk of cow that Dez and Lilah could probably have decorated them with costumes and sparkles and they would not have noticed.
But! As things go with travel, just when you think you have "sucker" stamped on your forehead and that the whole thing's a bust, you have an exhilarating experience. After a slow start and seeing penned lions who were separated by sex and age because "last year the male ate his cub, so we have to separate them now" (which led to some interesting questions by the kids), we had a wonderful intro to being on safari (a safari-lite if you will) in which we saw the following, all running wild but at a safe distance: giraffes, zebras, impalas, cape buffalo herds, monkeys, baboons, wildebeests, warthogs, an elephant, and probably others I'm forgetting. I cannot describe how special it feels to bump along in a jeep with warm later afternoon sun glowing on your child's face and Zambian air breezing by you. Of course then you get impaled by a branch of a tree the driver failed to avoid and it keeps you from getting too sappy.
Even though it was pushing on toward sunset, we went fishing in the beautiful early evening sun because the kids were so excited to fish. We agreed to 10 min only and warned them catching a fish was unlikely, but the warning didn't help when Lilah caught a fish and Dez did not. Though he shook it off initially, he has continued to pepper me with dramatic statements ever since regarding his "failure" as a fisherman and how he's "never fishing again." Suggesting that a track record including fishing in a lake that turned out to have no fish with his grandpa and fishing for 10 min in a Zambian lake didn't really count as a full college try hasn't gotten me anywhere.
We loaded in the car for the drive home in fading light (it fully faded as we turned off the entrance lane onto the loose dirt of the road under construction.) Being a champion, Christie safely drove 19 km through the choppy mix of dirt and rock, avoiding enormous tractors (with surprisingly and misleadingly few lights at night) and bicyclists (with no lights at night and a surprising refusal to hug the shoulder). As we drove, we kept on track by noting random landmarks and things we'd seen on the way in. Dez pointed out the site of a roadside trash fire that had been burning on the way in (coming from a State in drought he remembers the locations of fires). And we talked more about the huge number of uniform-clad kids we'd seen walking to and from school earlier that day. (Dez remarked when he saw one boy alone far out on the dirt road in the morning,"He must have a really long walk to school" and then fell silent for awhile.) And as we got home that night Dez smiled and said that now he felt like he was in Africa. He's certainly seeing a good cross section of one country in it at least :)
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